The Da Vinci Code?

More like…The Crapinci Code. Ha!

NOTE: For the abridged version of this entry, please scroll down.

So I saw the movie the other day and I didn’t really like it. Here are some of the reasons why:

Sophie Neveu: what was her function? Except for having gotten Langdon safely away from that cop, she didn’t really do much. We’re told she was being unknowingly trained by her “grandfather” her whole life so that she could take over his duties. Then Teabing busts out with that thing about the songs her grandfather probably sang to her that he also knows. Here’s where we’re shown a flashback of a little girl dancing to her grandfather’s singing. The fact that she’s supposed to have been trained her whole life is brought up a bunch of times, and yet is never one put into action. She doesn’t solve any of the puzzles and basically serves as the audience – us – to whom Langdon can explain every little bit of information to so that we won’t get lost. GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

The flashbacks: what the hell was the point of them? They mostly showed me what they already told me. Or they happened the other way around. They told me something, then later they showed a flashback of it. What the crap?

For example:
Robert Langdon: When I was a boy I fell in a well and thought I was going to die.
Sophie: ::blank stare of uselessness::
CUT TO: flashback of a boy in a well.
BACK TO: some other random scene.

Unless the flashbacks have something important to show me, I don’t think they’re very necessary. Specially Sophie’s flashbacks, as mentioned above.

The French Cop Guy: that cop guy played by Jean Reno, whose name I can’t remember. So I’m supposed to believe that this guy who has such strong belief in that priest – so much so that he clearly went against all police procedures – this guy will just turn and let him take the fall at the end? With no hesitation? Merely a “you used me”? I dunno, that seemed kinda weird to me.

Before you people who are fans of the book start going crazy; NO, I have NOT read the book. It doesn’t matter if the book was amazing. Film is a different media. Things obviously have to change. This was an adaptation of a novel. As such, I do not believe it was adapted very well. It felt like to truly understand what was going on, I needed to have read the book. Sure, that will help in any movie based on a book, but it shouldn’t be essential. Also, there are certain expectations when you hear “A film by Ron Howard, starring Tom Hanks”; expectations that I do not believe were met.

ABRIDGED VERSION: The Da Vinci Code was a 2 ½ hour introduction to the last 5 minutes of the movie...and it sucked.

Challenge me...Please. Specially those of you who have read the books and seen the movie.



...the perfect blossom is a rare thing