So I’m finally back home after almost a month of constant travels between different cities and states visiting different family members and friends. Of all the trips though, I think I was able to grow the most from my sojourn in
One thing that seems to come up very often with me is the fact that I don’t and sometimes won’t talk about things unless specifically asked. Even if it’s something I’m totally ecstatic about. For example, right now there’s some news that I’m very happy about, but I absolutely do not feel the need to type it in this blog. But if you just ask me, I’ll gladly tell you anything. Well…just about anything. I always figured that if someone really wanted to know something, they’d just ask. I mean why wouldn’t they? That’s what questions are for. Well apparently most people don’t. For serious though, if I end up in a hospital am I really expected to call up everyone I know and just be all “oh by the way, I’m in the hospital, I guess I’ll talk to ya later, bye”? I’m not even being rhetorical here, I really want someone to answer that. There were so many people that got upset with me for not telling them I was in the hospital. I mean I appreciate the care, but I just think it would annoy them more. But that’s not even what I was first talking about. What I meant were deeper more personal things that constantly bite at your very being until you can’t take it anymore and explode, or in my case, end up in a hospital bed.
So I’ve been to a couple of doctors and they’ve all said I need to learn to verbalize what I feel more. Sounds easy enough. You think you know? You have no idea. Finally I decided to do this whole “sharing” thing more and more but it seems to be just as fruitless as keeping it inside. I mean yeah I’ve had some great conversations with some people, but most of the time, it just seems to make it worse and more uncomfortable. Should I try to vocalize all that I’ve said here right now, I know that I would fail miserably. Thusly, I truly believe there is an art in being able to confidently, tactfully, and eloquently verbalize what you are feeling inside. It is an art that escaped me long ago; which is why I have to resort to writing: the one medium which allowed me to find a voice more confident than any other I might attempt.
I’d like to know what any readers of this blog have to say about this subject. I mean is sharing only meant to be done with a select few? Is there any way to truly give it a universal definitin? Or is it just completely to one’s own discretion?... I would've never guessed that true romance and Detroit would ever go together
6 comments:
Well Munib, you ask a very interesting question. We all have a need to connect with other people, and sometimes it can be hard to do so. Some people we're naturally connect with better, and thus we're more likely to talk to them about serious subjects.
On the other hand, all things take practice. We all learn and perhaps are still learning how to talk and connect with people whether they're new people or old friends or close friends or maybe just a little less close.
Talking about serious subjects is no doubt a skill as well. But, I can imagine that if a person practiced and became comfortable talking about serious issues related to themselves that they would no doubt become closer to the friends that they already have and make less close friends closer. They would in turn feel comfortable talking about those subjects to you, and thus they would be more relieved and happy as well. Thus, the world would be a better place all-around.
I find myself desiring to connect a little bit, but I kind of backed off a bit when I looked at that list of people on the phone numbers. But, I did try to call some other friends of mine, but they weren't available.
And, of course Instant Messengers are great, because you can say hi to people and not worry about bothering them terribly. If they're available, it'll say they are, and if they're busy, it'll say they're busy.
Anywho, maybe I'll just call someone tonight and say hi, and maybe go a little bit deeper than normal. Anywho, great to hear from you Munib. Great Entry.
I wonder how effective IMing really is at helping people connect in a meaningful way (not that i dont love IMing)? what do you guys think?
MUNIBI we need to get you some bagel medicine and just get a couple of bagels, a very useful microwave and tons of time. Nothing is better for the soul then bagel dates. love and miss u, yonath
p.s u get to choose the bagel toppings!
Dearest Munib,
Connecting to people does not require words to be said. A nice gesture....a gift or three to a friend could be as effective if not more than saying how you feel. Anyways, the writings say "let deeds not words be your adorning"...so i guess talking really isn't as effective or useful as we think it is. Now if you have a tummy ache....maybe that would be best vocalized...but emotions and mental states could be shown through actions. If people can't read your body language and pick up on the meanings of the many gifts you are now going to shower on your friends...well then that's there problem....but let me tell you i'll be able to understand....so you can start the shower of gifts! hope this helps...or at least makes you laugh!
much love,
maryam (your friend at UF...not your sister...who is also at UF)
Hmmm... very interesting. I do think that you are a quiet person, but that's not a bad thing. What I notice is that you don't tend to talk about yourself, unless prompted. It's funny cuz during your visit, when I had my head on straight, I would try to ask you direct questions about yourself and you would answer, but the rest of the time (i.e. in big groups), you tend to be quiet. Again, there are LOTS of people in the world who are like that, and that's not a bad thing. In fact, in some ways it is preferable to be a quiet person (at least my Dad always liked quiet people). I guess the point is to find 2 or 3 close friends who you can always be really open and free with.
P.S. Write me an email and tell me your very exciting news please!
This is a great topic, Munib. It seems that you touch upon a number of different issues.
The whole concept of expression is very profound. We all express ourselves in different ways. Some people never stop talking. Other people find artistic outlets of expression. Some have learned the (not-so-healthy) art of repression.
Whether you share your experiences/thoughts/feelings with others or not, I think the most important thing is to make sure that you process your life and have some outlet for the expression of your soul. We are enjoined by the Master to have a (pure, kindly) and "radiant heart".
Keeping things to yourself could either be a sign of dignity and restraint or a sign of repression and a lack of reflection.
(Warm fuzzy): I like the way you are!
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